


Timing -Iwaoi Fanfic

by Abbiewithapen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Closeted Character, Completed, Gay Bar, Kissing, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Permanent Injury, Sexuality, Violence, little to no mention of volleyball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:33:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23762374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abbiewithapen/pseuds/Abbiewithapen
Summary: “Oi, Shity-kawa you better start doing some explaining now.” It’s quiet for a moment; there was only the sound of wind blowing against the phone. “Oikawa!”“Um, h-hey Iwa-chan.” His voice is weak. It sends a wave of anxiety through me. What could be wrong with him? He’s always so loud and energetic, even when he’s upset.I pull in the anger and ask again. “Oikawa, what’s wrong?”
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, oik
Comments: 2
Kudos: 139





	Timing -Iwaoi Fanfic

I was definitely NOT thinking about stupid trashy-kawa when my phone buzzed at 11:30 Friday night. Definitely not thinking about muscles and milky aqua blues, and for god damn sure not about alien obsessed psychotic volleyball players… okay maybe I was thinking about him but it’s not like that really matters I think about all my teammates. Though I don’t think they would all look as good in - never mind we aren’t thinking about that.

The phone was resting next to my head and as I stared at the ceiling of my little bedroom it buzzed a second time. I picked it up not remotely surprised to see “OIKAWA TOORU” in two separate message bubbles. It was odd usually Oikawa would insist on spending the night at my place on weekends. Unless he had a date with someone but I don’t remember him saying anything about a new girl or anything this week. Where could he be? That idiot told me everything, it’s not like him to be reserved…about anything. That boy talks so god damn much.

I swiped open the phone not bothering to pre-read the messages. I was greeted with the way to bright whiteness of the messaging app. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the light and in that time I received a third message from the impatient idiot.

_-Hey Iwa-chan_

_-Iwa-chan are you up?_

_-Iwazumi, please…_

The use of my full name had me sitting up instantly. I tried to hold my nerves in for a moment and not jump to conclusions. The idiot probably just messed something up again.

- ** _What’s wrong, Oikawa?_**

****

I waited tensely for his response. It didn’t take long.

- _Can you pick me up? I lost my wallet. I can’t get home._

This idiot. I knew it was something like this. He would lose his ego if it wasn’t so fucking big.

- **The fuck Oikawa? How does this always happen? I’m not picking you up this time, its too fucking cold.**

- _Please Iwazumi. I don’t think I can walk home and I don’t have a coat. Please._

The hell? Why doesn’t he have a coat with him? My nerves start to build up more. I climb out of the bed and start pacing the length of my room.

**-Why don’t you have a coat, Oikawa?**

The little dots work for a full minute before I got a response.

_-I lost it too._

That’s bull shit. You don’t just lose your coat and your wallet at the same time. I don’t even waste the time looking through my phone for his contact. I quickly dial the number I memorized long ago. It rings and rings. Why isn’t he picking up? He obviously has his phone or did he lose that in the time it took me to dial. On the eighth ring, it finally clicks and I hear a faint “Hello.”

“Oi, Shity-kawa you better start doing some explaining now.” It’s quiet for a moment; there was only the sound of wind blowing against the phone. “Oikawa!”

“Um, h-hey Iwa-chan.” His voice is weak. It sends a wave of anxiety through me. What could be wrong with him? He’s always so loud and energetic, even when he’s upset.

I pull in the anger and ask again. “Oikawa, what’s wrong?”

“I-I thought I would try to get into a bar in town because I was feeling r-really lonely. Um-“

The pause this time is un-bearable. A million horrible ideas run through my head.

“Oikawa please just fucking tell me what happened.”

“um d-don’t worry I just got distracted dancing and someone cobbed my stuff. Don’t worry Iwa-chan I’m sorry for texting you. It’s my fault. I’ll get home somehow. Sorry Iwa-chan. Goodbye.”

“wait! Oikawa where are you?” I wait for a response. It takes a moment but finally, his voice comes through the speaker.

“Are you sure Iwa-chan?”

I scrambled to throw on my coat and grab another from the closet before running to the front door to grab shoes and my dad’s set of keys. “Yes, Oikawa. I’m heading out the door right now. Where are you?”

“I’m in-between some buildings near the corner of Seventh and Market. Thank you, Hajime.” I blush at his soft tone and the use of my first name.

“Okay, I’ll be there soon but it’s going to take about ten minutes. Why don’t you go into a convenience store while you wait?” The inside of my dad’s car is freezing. It’s the middle of winter so it makes sense. But this guy better get inside otherwise he’ll get sick.

Oikawa sneezes twice on the other end, emphasizing my thoughts. “I can’t”

???

“Why the fuck not Oikawa?” I tapped the steering wheel impatiently as a red light took way too fucking long to change to green.

“T-they might call the cops on m-me.” Oikawa’s voice broke at the end of this and I could feel a bit of my heartbreak along with it. I pushed the gas pedal closer to the floor speeding down the mostly empty street.

“You better start explaining what happened. Now.” I could feel the anger dripping from my words. That fire growing at the sound of faint sniffling.

“Please Iwa-chan, I can’t”

“Fine but you better explain everything when I get there. I’m a couple streets away so just hold on.”

“Thank you, Hajime.”

I twirl erupted in my stomach “Anytime Tooru.” We stayed silent for the rest of the way. I could hear an occasional sniffle or sneeze but other than that we didn’t say anything. I wanted to ask him what happened until he told me but I could tell that he wasn’t going to say much. Hopefully, once I see him in person he’ll explain.

I pulled up to the corner of seventh and market and jump from the car, the spare coat clenched in my fist. I looked around the intersection for Oikawa. “I’m here Oikawa. Where are you?”

“I can see you I’m b-between the two office building next to your car.” I sprint to the dark little alley between the buildings.

“Oh no, Oikawa.” The sight I find breaks everything in me and I fall to my knees in front of the curled form of Oikawa.

I could barely even recognize him. He was sitting against the wall, knees pulled tightly up to his chest, one hand wrapped around them and one holding up his phone to his ear. His eyes were wet from tears. Every inch of his exposed skin was covered in either blooming bruises or drying blood. He was only wearing a thin t-shirt and a pair of jeans. His left eye was swollen nearly shut and there was still blood dripping from his nose. When we made eye contact he smiled feebly and I watch as tears start falling down his face.

I didn’t even realize what I was doing until Oikawa’s freezing body was wrapped in my arms. His body convulsed as he sobbed. I couldn’t help but let a few tears loose as well. “Oikawa what happened?” I asked desperately taking his face in my hands. I wiped the slow trickle of blood with my coat sleeve. “No wait, don’t answer that if you’re not ready. You need to get to the hospital.”

Oikawa’s already heavy breathing only increases and he grabbed tightly to the front of my shirt. “N-no Please no, Iwazume.” He choked out. “please don’t bring me to the hospital I can’t go there. M-my dad will know, and I’ll have to explain what I was doing, and he’ll kick me out of the house. P-please Iwa-chan. Please don’t take me to the hospital.”

“O-okay, we won’t go but we need to get you somewhere warm.” Oikawa nodded slowly and I helped him onto his feet surveying him again. He seemed to be favoring his right leg and he flinched very sharply when I brushed a section of his side. “If you have any broken ribs you’ll be going to the hospital no matter what. You understand?” Oikawa nodded slowly and the somber look on his face seemed to get darker.

“Come on, let’s get going.” I bent over and picked up the coat I had dropped and wrapped it around the shivering Oikawa. Tears continued to fall down his bruising cheeks but it looked like the shaking was gone. Wrapping an arm around his shoulder I began to pull him towards the car.

“Iwa-chan, your phone.” Oikawa stops walking and nods his head at the phone laying on the ground. I didn’t even bother looking to see if it was cracked. His voice breaks again as he says “I-is it broken?”

“Come on idiot, that doesn’t matter right now.” How can he be worried about my phone when his face is so smashed up and he can barely breathe without wincing. I wrap my arm around him again and I can feel a new tenseness that wasn’t there a moment ago. His breathing starts to pick up again. But this time instead of tears his breathing just keeps getting faster and faster.

“I-I-I-I’m s-s-sorry, Hajime. I-I’m sorry I’m sorr-r -r” He broke off in gasps. I could feel his whole-body retching as he tried to speak; the hyperventilation stripping the blush he had gained in his cheeks.

“Shhh. No Tooru no. I’m not mad. Shh. Come on let’s get in the car.” I pulled open the car door and softly pushed the trembling Oikawa into the back seat. He curled onto his side covering his face. I climbed in next to him. I stretched to the steering wheel and started the car to get the heat blowing into the back seat.

Sitting back in the seat I gently placed my hand on Oikawa’s shoulder trying to pull him into a sitting position. He didn’t move, his breath didn’t seem to be slowing down either. I repositioned myself and grabbed the broken boy, pulling him into my lap completely. I took his hands and tugged on them lightly trying to get him to release the grip he had on his face. He let go after a moment and the terror I saw in his eyes shattered everything in my chest again. My face must have twisted in pain because as he looked me his breathing picked up even more and he tried to scramble off of my lap. I wouldn’t let him go though, I tucked his head under my chin and said, “Oikawa you’re going to be fine.” This didn’t seem to have much effect so I did the only things I could think of to help. I started humming. Not a tune or anything. Just random notes.

This had happened once before. From what I could tell Oikawa didn’t have panic attacks often but when he did they were severe. The only time I had seen it was three days after we lost to Kurosuno. He had kept his cool for the team and even kept me calm but at a certain point, it just became too much for him to handle. And he broke. We had been sitting in my room just reading magazines when all of a sudden he just couldn’t breathe. I was sure he was dying. He only calmed down after I started humming as I held him on my lap. We never talked about that moment. We should have.

It took a minute or two of humming for Oikawa’s breathing to slow and nearly five minutes after that for me to feel some of the tension release from his body. By this time the heat in the back seat was getting strong and I could feel Oikawa thawing. A bit of the nervousness in my gut calmed when I felt he was no longer cold to the touch.

After another five minutes, Oikawa seemed to be calmed down, other than the occasional hiccup he remained mostly quiet and still, curled up on my lap hands clutching the front of my shirt. I slowly stopped my humming and I felt him tense slightly. “Are you okay now?” I felt a weak shrug. “Okay, I guess that wasn’t a fair question. How about, can we move to the front seats so I can drive us home?” There was a more confident nod and a hiccup at this. “Alight, then, can I see your face.” There wasn’t a response for a moment then the slow shake of his head. “That’s fine, let’s get going.” I slowly placed Oikawa on the seat next to me before pulling up the hood of the coat to cover his face.

“Thank you, Hajime.” He whispered.

“Your welcome, Tooru” I whispered just as quietly.

I opened the door and we both got out and moved to the front seats. I drove in silence. I didn’t want to pressure him to talk if he wasn’t ready. So we sat in the car for the ten-minute drive by the time we pulled up to my house Oikawa’s hiccups were nearly completely gone and he had started to look around the car and out the windows. A little warmth was brought back to my core with this.

We sat in the driveway the car ticking to rest. “Can I see your face, Oikawa?” This time the pause was longer before he shook his head no. “Alright well, I’m going to go inside and see if my parents are up. I didn’t really explain anything when I left so I don’t know if they’ll be waiting up for me, okay?” I was answered by a silent nod. “Oikawa you’re going to have to speak to me when we get inside. I need to know what happened.” I didn’t wait for a response before getting out of the car and walking to the front door.

Inside the lights were off and I could hear the faint sound of my dad snoring in the bedroom past the kitchen. That’s a good sign. It was already passed 12:30 so it made sense that my parents would be in bed. Actually now that I think about it I’m not even sure if they were awake when I left. My mom didn’t shout after me as I was leaving and my dad didn’t yell about his keys. So maybe they were already in bed when I went to get Oikawa. What a lucky break.

I went back outside to the car Oikawa was looking out the passenger window at the house so he saw me coming. He had his hood down and I could see the puffiness of his eyes as I opened the door to let him out. “Everyone’s in bed. Let’s go.”

We entered the house toeing off shoes and stripping our coats. I watched Oikawa’s every flinch and hiss, cataloging the areas he avoided for further inspection later. We climbed the stairs and headed straight towards the bathroom. When we got inside I looked at Oikawa. He was hugging his body closely. It was a posture so different from his normal confident annoying self. “Alright strip.”

“Wha-, Iwa-chan.” I was very satisfied to see Oikawa blush a bright red before taking a step back.

“Come, stupid. I need to make sure none of your injuries are serious. Do you remember what I said about broken ribs? Now take your clothes off. You need a shower and bandages.” I turned around to let him strip and looked through the drawers for towels and first-aid supplies. When the rustling settled I slowly turned around. My stomach flipped at the image of a barely clad Oikawa and then fell entirely out when I took in all the bruising. His chest was peppered in purpling welts and open cuts. “I think it would be best to skip the shower today. I’ll help towel you down.”

I moistened a hand towel in the sink and had him sit on the stool in the shower. “Can you tell me what happened yet?”

Oikawa’s breathing picked up and he said, “Please not yet, Hajime.”

“Fine but you’re not going to sleep until you tell me, got it? I only have so much patience” I could feel the anger building up. Oikawa nodded silently.

I started with his hands. Taking the right and gently running the towel over the bruised knuckles some of which were cracked open and bleeding. I guess it’s good to see that he fought back against whatever happened. I moved up his arm which was just as bruised. Then I repeated the process on the left arm. Next his legs, which other than a few bruises on his shins and upper thighs seemed okay. I blushed a little as I poked a particularly high bruise on his left leg that made him squeak. His left ankle seemed to be twisted like he had agitated an old injury. His torso was the most worrisome, though I’m sure he would argue is face was more important. There was a massive crescent bruise on his right side, with small lighter bruises pepper the rest of his chest.

I placed a hand softly over the large bruise, he didn’t react much which was comforting. But I still wasn’t sure the ribs weren’t broken. “Breath in deeply, please” Oikawa did as I instructed the breath wobbled as it came in and left rather smoothly. Again he didn’t wince and the skin under my palm felt normal. “Does it hurt to breathe Oikawa?”

“Not really… my throat kinda hurts and my mouth stings.” Those words made me feel much better and his tone seemed to be heading towards his normal one. Still quiet and whispered but there was more animation.

“Are you sure? You can’t lie about this, it’s very serious.” I looked up at his face from the place I was kneeling in front of him, the position made me blush. His bobbing head and little smile reassured me and I continued “mm, that’s good. If it starts hurting, please tell me. Broken ribs are very serious.”

“Yes, Iwa-can, thank you.” The little smile on Oikawa face made my whole stomach flutter. It felt gross.

I finished whipping off his chest and moved up to his neck. As I looked closer my stomach crumbled again. Just under Oikawa’s chin, there was a band around his neck in the shape of fingers. The concealed boiling rage inside of me rose. There were little scrapes along his neck but none of them were too serious. I was careful as I wiped them clean mesmerized by the way his skin moved over the muscles in his neck. Next was his face. His chin had a little dried blood on it that wiped away easily with the cloth. His lower lip, had a small, cut. His lips looked so soft. They looked so go-

“Iwa-chan” I could feel the breath on my own lips. The sound and the sensation made me jump back. Shit too close. I could feel myself color. I didn’t look at Oikawa, turning away to rinse the towel. There was a shallow sigh behind me before a broken whisper, “I-I’m sorry”

I was surprised by the apology. Oikawa had nothing to apologize for. I looked at him to say just that but the look of hurt and fear on his face made me change directions. “what do you mean Oikawa?” I lifted a hand to brush the hair on the side of his head. he leaned into the touch but didn’t answer. “You know I’m not mad at you at all, right?”

The tears were starting to build up in his eyes again, “A-are you sure you’re not mad? You should be... you should hate me. I-I sorr-ry I’m so annoying and gross. But I’ll try to stop so please don’t leave me Hajime. Please.” This desperation was so out of character for Oikawa I was struck silent for a moment. The words were scary to hear, a sour sort of rot began in my stomach. It was Oikawa’s increased breathing that brought me back.

“NO!” the sudden exclamation made Oikawa jump a little and the tears started spilling over. “What are you talking about, Oikawa? Leave you? You think I would put up with you for all this time just to leave all of a sudden? You’ve got to be kidding me. You are my best friend. You have been for years, you aren’t disgusting and yeah you can be a little annoying when you talk about your fangirls or when you obsess over things until you end up sick or hurt. But those are all parts of you that I like. I-I mean I’m not going to leave you ever. I don’t know what happened, I don’t know what you’re going through right now but please don’t crush your self-worth. That has nothing to do with my being here or not, anything could happen or change.

Oikawa’s breath hitched at the last sentence. “see you will leave me.” The tears now streaming down his face.

I was getting to the point of exasperation. I took a step forward and grabbed his arms. He tried to step away from me. “Oikawa look at me.” He steadily refused to look at me but when he realized I wasn’t going to release him until he did he finally lifted his eyes up to mine. “I’m not leaving, okay. I promise no matter what you do or what I do I’m not going to leave you. You got that. You’re stuck with me.” I looked into Oikawa’s eyes and smiled. I needed him to believe me because it was true. I had no plans to leave this boy no matter where he went or who he went with. “tell me you understand Oikawa.”

He nodded weakly and I wasn’t convinced but he wasn’t crying as hard and it didn’t look like he was going to have another panic attack. So, I let go of his arms and retrieved the towel to finish wiping off his face. I made quick work of the leftover dirt and cuts which weren’t as bad as they originally looked. His nose and one eye were swollen and would probably stay that way for a while. Luckily nothing looked broken.

“Alright sit down so that I can brush some of the dirt out of your hair.” I seated myself on the edge of the tub in front of Oikawa. I had never been this close to his hair. I had never been free to run my fingers through it watching it fall back into that messy “no-way-he-woke-up-like-that” style. It was softer than I expected; I’ve seen how much hair spray he uses. I could feel my mind drifting as I slowly fingered through his hair, releasing imprisoned bits of dirt and little tangles. As I worked to get a particularly tangled bit free on Oikawa’s forehead, I felt a brush of wind cover my lips. I looked down at slightly hooded eyes, my breath hitched, I didn’t realize how close I had gotten. I didn’t want to move away. I let out a little breath back, testing. But when warm brown eyes flicked open catching mine, I couldn’t help but jerk back.

“A-alright, I think you’re done. Does any place hurt that I didn’t check?” I refused to look into his eyes as I spoke, instead focusing on a loose hair resting on his right shoulder. Oikawa let out a quick breath before shaking his head no. “Alright well, I’ll go get you some clothes to wear for the night.”

I quickly ran and grabbed the first pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt I found in my dresser. Tossed them into the bathroom without looking then sprinted back to my room. I slammed the door behind me. I ran my hand through my hair six times before I realized I was doing it. Three deep breaths and a forceful kick to an innocent crumpled sweatshirt on the floor and I was composed enough to open the door again. I was surprised to find Oikawa already dressed and standing on the other side of the door. He was nervously wringing his hands but his breathing seemed normal. I smiled softly and he walked into the room.

I was about to ask if he wanted something to drink when he said, “I was at a gay bar.”

I waited for him to say more. “Oh…And?” I prodded after he didn’t continue.

“It was a gay bar, for gay people.” I settle on the edge of my bed trying to keep my expression neutral. I wasn’t sure how I should react. A part of me, I didn’t want to admit to, got excited. Before continuing he settles onto the bed next to me.

“Iwa-chan, I think I might be gay.” I finally looked up from the hole forming in my left sock. Oikawa was twisted into himself, his hair falling over his eyes as he too stared down at my socks. I don’t miss the blush on his cheeks or the muscles working in his jaw. 

“I-is that why you were at a gay bar?” I didn’t know what to say or ask but I felt like I needed to say something.

“Yeah” Oikawa flipped his hair away from his face a little and I could see his lip caught between his teeth. There was another long silence. The awkwardness kept building and I couldn’t find anything else to say. Eventually, the tension and curiosity got the best of me.

“Oikawa, what happened.” I tried to keep my voice calm and quiet, but the urgency pushed through. I had a sneaking feeling I knew what happened.

He worked his lip harder and I flinched as I watched the cut on his lip open. He remained quiet his eyes glassing over.

“Hey, hey” I pulled his shoulder so that he turned towards me. “Stop biting your lips. Do you want some tea? We can get something to eat before you talk.”

He shook his head but otherwise didn’t say anything, his lip still caught between his teeth. Turning my own body, I grabbed onto his jaw forcing him to look at me. He blinked slowly at me tears forming thick in his lashes. A pool of warmth started forming in my stomach. I used my thumb to gently pull his lip free, letting it brush against his skin ghosting over the cut so as not to hurt him. A large warm tear fell onto my hand.

I think that’s when I decided I was done hiding it.

“Oikawa, talk to me.” His eyes lifted to mine slowly.

“I-it hurts Hajime.” His voice was broken and faint.

“I know Tooru, I know.” I pulled him close to my chest, resting my chin on his head gently. I hummed as his tears came freely once again. When they quieted he started telling me what happened.

“I’ve been wondering if I might be gay. S-so I thought I’d go to a bar some of the guys on the team were talking about.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” It was an unfair question, but I spoke up before I could stop myself. I regretted it instantly when his breathing froze and his back tensed.

He pulled away from my chest. “I thought you’d think it was gross or that you would hate me. So, I thought I’d f-figure out for sure before saying anything. A-a-and – “

“No, it’s okay. I understand. It’s was your choice.” I grabbed onto his clenched hands on his lap. “I wouldn’t hate you for something like this. In fact…” I stopped myself short not sure if this was the right time.

After a moment he nodded and continued with his story. “I got to the bar and was enjoying some drinks. It was pretty easy to get in. I was talking to this guy when I noticed a commotion a couple tables over. There were these two girls sitting at the table together and these three guys trying to hit on them. Obviously, the girls were, like, a couple but these guys kept trying to flirt with them. It started to get rough when one of the guys poured out his beer all over the table spilling onto the girls.”

He looked into my eyes, “I couldn’t _not_ do anything, Hajime.” I nodded. I knew him, of course, he wouldn’t leave something like that alone.

He continued, “I went over to the guys and tried to get them to go away. I don’t know what I said but it really upset them. They started calling me the f-word and other shit. So, I decided to remind them that they were in a gay bar. Well, apparently, they weren’t away of the fact and got supper pissed that I would assume they were gay. Then they started being real homophobic. Eventually, a couple bouncers escorted them out of the bar. I tried to go back to drinking with that guy from before, but I couldn’t really get into the mood, so I decided to just go home early. I stopped at the convenience store to get water for the way home.”

He paused for a moment and squeezed his hand again letting him know I was still there.

“A-as I was checking out the guys from the bar came in. I tried to get out of there as quickly so they wouldn’t notice me, but they did anyway. I left and they f-followed me. I was so sc-card. I was about to call someone when one of them rammed into my back pushing me into the alley.” There was a pause before he continued. “They beat me up and took my wallet and coat. I was so scared, H-Hajime.”

Oikawa’s tears broke through again and I pulled him close to me as the sobs wracked his frame. An anger I have never felt before flamed inside of me. I tried to keep calm for Oikawa, but my arms locked themselves around him.

“I’m here, Tooru. They’re gone.” I buried my face into his shoulder, trying to rain in the rage inside of me. I hummed to try and calm both of us, after a couple minutes his sobbing ended and he let out a deep sigh into my chest. “Did anything else happen? Did they touch you? Or try t-“

I could hardly bear to continue the question, but Oikawa interrupted me. “No, they only hit me.”

I wave of confused relief went through me before I pushed him back to look into his face. “We need to call the police.”

He stiffened again his brow crinkling. “NO. No no. I don’t want to.”

He shook his head as I tried to make eye contact. “Tooru, you can’t just let these guys get away with this.”

“I don’t want to. I don’t want to deal with this. My dad will be so pissed when he finds out.” He started wringing his hands again, so I grabbed them in mine, trying to weave my fingers between his.

“But what those guys did was really terrible. I could beat the shit out of them.” Oikawa shook his head again. “And what about your cards and money? You need to report them missing at least.

This made him pause for a moment. “I don’t want to, Hajime.” He whined.

“I know but those guys will think they can do this again to someone else if they’re not reported. How about we go in the morning?” He still seemed hesitant. Squeezing his hands, I continued. “You’re Dad is going to find out about your cards. You need to report them missing. I’ll go with you. You don’t have to do this alone.”

Oikawa pressed his lips together tight, but he nodded. Another small tear slipped from his eye. “Okay,” he said.

_____________________

It was well past three in the morning when we had finally finished our talk and each scarfed down a bowl of cereal. I was satisfied to see some of Oikawa’s trademark cockiness coming back. I didn’t bother getting out a futon or anything. We simply crawled into my bed together. This wasn’t our first time sharing a bed, but it still lit a little fire in my stomach.

I let Oikawa crawl in first against the wall and I climbed in after facing him. He sighed slowly meeting my eyes. There was a smile playing at the corner of his lips. It seemed to hide some of the bruises still darkening across his face. I frowned thinking of those bastards that touched him. He must have noticed because his smile soon fell, and his frame hunched over itself.

“What’s wrong, Oikawa?” My whisper was rough, and I cleared my throat settling deeper into the blankets.

“Is it gross?” I could barely hear him even though he was just inches away from me. “b-because I am gay.”

If the bed wasn’t so small and Oikawa wasn’t so injured, I would have smacked him in the head. I made sure to tell him such. Looking at him in the low glow of the moon through my window I wasn’t sure if I should tell him. It didn’t feel like the right time, but I wasn’t sure if that was true or just fear speaking. A knot of anxiety tightened itself inside me and I realized that knot had been there for months, years, probably since I started becoming aware of Oikawa. I decided there was never going to be a “right time” for this.

Before I could change my mind or convince myself not to, I blurted it out, “I’m gay too.”

He didn’t say anything, he didn’t move, the little light that shone on him refused to tell me if he even blinked in response. I needed to say more.

“I think I have known for a while, maybe my whole life. I just never was very interested in girls at all, you know? I-“

Oikawa suddenly sat up relieving me from further unprepared explanation. I slowly pulled myself up next to him. 

“Tooru?” I tried to make out any sort of expression on his face. He didn’t respond for another moment before his shoulders began to shake, almost silent sobs slipping from him. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?”

I wrapped an arm around him, but he shrugged it off. “Are you lying to me?”

“What? No.” I laughed a little; completely confused.

His breathing increased, “You are lying.” There was a bite of venom in the words I wasn’t expecting.

“No, I am not. What’s going on here?” It hurt a little to be denied my truth like this and I couldn’t help the defensiveness in my tone.

His breath hitched for a moment before a loud sob broke from him, “You have to be lying. Why didn’t you tell me? You are-“

“You didn’t tell me either.” I countered and we both paused for a moment. “We just never talked about it, Tooru. It’s okay, we can talk about it now.”

Another sob broke through his shadowed frame and I wrapped an arm around him. This time he let it stay there so I pulled him in close to my chest. I felt his tears soak through my old t-shirt and they were warm and heartbreaking. We sat in silence as his tears slowed and eventually stopped. As he quieted, I told him about my sexual identity. I told about my uncles on my moms’ side and how with their stories I came to realize who I was. I told him about the loudmouthed little cry baby neighbor kid I had a crush on when I was younger. I told him about telling my mom and how she simply nodded and told me she already knew. I told him that it was okay, that I would be there for him.

He was quiet as I ended my stories and for a moment, I thought he was asleep. I was about to pull him back into the bed when I heard him whisper something muffled in my chest.

“What?” I asked.

He pulled himself up and looked right at me. The slight light of the moon glinted off his eyes and I could see a hard, determined look in them. I felt my stomach flip. He ran his hand up my arm, hooking his fingers into my sleeve, pulling himself closers.

“I love you,” I could feel the breath of his words flutter against my lips as my heart skipped for a moment before falling into a sprint. For some reason, I notice how my palms started sweating instantly.

“W-wha” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. My brain was like a skipping track, those three words echoing through my head. Before I could get an answer or come up with something to say Oikawa’s hand left my sleeve and move to hook around my ear. My mind couldn’t catch up. I wasn’t breathing, I’m sure I wasn’t.

That’s when he kissed me. His lips were warm and everything I imagined they would be. But, before my mind could catch up, he pulled away. 

He didn’t say anything. It took a while for everything inside of me to calm down so I could speak.

“Are you- Do you - mean it?” I wondered where my normal composure was. Oikawa started pulling his hands from my face, but I quickly grabbed them pressing them more firmly against my cheeks before pulling them off to twist and flip on the lamp. Turning back to face him I pull his hands back to where they were, relishing the warmth of his hands. Oikawa blinks at the sudden light and my heart melts as his nose crinkles. “Do you really love me?”

He blushes and looks down a little, nodding. That anxious knot inside of me melted in the heat boiling deep in my stomach, “Really?”

With another nod, I took his face into my hands and pulled him into another kiss.

This time I didn’t let him get away with just a peck. The fire inside of me coursed through my whole body.

His lips were so soft. Turning my head, I placed a hand onto the back of his head pulling him in closer. He kissed me back immediately. And after a breathless moment, I realized I had no idea what I was doing.

I pulled back gasping. I looked into Okinawa’s eyes, pressing my forehead against his. I smiled breathlessly. “I Love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I hope you liked reading this. I started writing this years ago but I forgot about it. I think I managed it pretty well. Let me know what you think in the comments. If you like my style of writing let me know. I have been considering self-publishing a book, chapter by chapter. It would be a YA novel about magic and the processing of pain. There are a lot of pulls on the German language and linguistic. I think it's pretty cool personally. If that sounds like something you would be interested in let me know!


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